It’s Memorial Day. People are right now firing up their grills, jumping in their swimming pools, and doing a lot of outdoor drinking. It’s a time for people to get excited for the start of summer. But here’s a dirty little secret for you: summer fucking sucks.

Yes, we can now go outside and grill meat, but at what cost? Humidity, bugs, the sun—no thank you. I can’t for the life of me understand why people look forward to the worst part of the year like it’s some kind of treat. “I just love warm weather!” Fuck you.

Kids are out of school, making summer the worst time to travel. Europe in particular is overrun with crowds in the summer months, which is one reason we almost always travel in the fall and winter. I literally can’t think of anything less fun than standing in a mass of humanity…in a building with no air-conditioning…in the middle of July.

So go ahead and celebrate your precious summer. Convince yourself that it’s your favorite season. As for me, I’ll be dreaming of Alpine villages, colorful leaves blowing in a crisp autumn wind, or basically anything that can make me forget that we have four more months of this shit to deal with before we get to the good part of the year.

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